Limb Amputation
In 2005, I was in a multivehicle collision in Iraq, during which I severely injured my right ankle. Two weeks later, my Humvee was hit by a roadside bomb, leaving me with a traumatic brain injury that, unknown to me, affected my nervous system in a way that would make it impossible for my ankle to heal properly. I spent the next 14 years living with chronic pain until last summer when I underwent a voluntary major limb amputation during a procedure called osseointegration.
I went into this surgery without any expectations, but there was one outcome that truly surprised me. While stumbling around Walter Reed's campus in 2008 with two black eyes and bruises up and down my arms from the IVs after my brain surgery, I was still treated like a supportive military spouse by other patients - mostly amputees. Even though my injury was severe, most people's attitudes toward me, a woman with no visible wound, made me feel like an outcast—no one considered closed-brain trauma a problem yet. Even with the evidence of hemorrhaging and permanent damage from the I.E.D., it took another four years, a new unit, and medical staff to persuade my former commanders to process Purple Heart paperwork for me. Once out of the service, I fought hard to look "normal" and rehabilitate my busted leg and brain, so I got used to entering a VA hospital and being asked, "Who are you here to visit?"
The first time I entered the VA following the amputation, I was treated completely differently by other veterans. Now there were encouraging words as I learned to walk again in the facility's hallways. I no longer had to explain a pause at the top of the stairs or my gliding along a wall to walk straight, letting them assume it was for my leg and not to steady my vision. Suddenly this recovery felt a lot more manageable compared to the years of brain rehab I had endured.
The VA did its part in easing recovery. Once I had an extension on my peg that reached the ground, they put in the orders for a climbing foot and reassessed my gait. The team was fascinated with the implant and what it could mean for future amputees and regularly asked what I could feel and what we could improve. And because of the VA's breakthroughs in understanding blast waves the past years, all of this was done with my brain injury in mind (yes, pun intended).
On this anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks, the day that triggered the series of events that led to my eventual amputation, I have no regrets: I am proud of my service, of those with whom I served, and of all those who made a sacrifice.
Elana Duffy is a guest contributor to the At War newsletter. She is a Purple Heart veteran with 10 years of service in the U.S. Army. She also founded the A.I. company www.pathfinder.vet to help members of the military and veterans connect with local benefits and resources.